


Such Funny Blots

by Darknecessary



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Watchmen - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Blood, Graphic Description, Pain, Psychological Torture, Rewrite, Violence, breaking bones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 13:13:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18032381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darknecessary/pseuds/Darknecessary
Summary: Rorschach's journal:Comedian died.New clown came to town.Killed fifty-seven people so far.Tonight, will get him.---Maybe Rorschach was vigilant, but to follow him home was no big deal.And now here they were.





	Such Funny Blots

**Author's Note:**

> Graphic violence, psychological torture, breaking bones, blood.
> 
>  
> 
> REUPLOAD/ REWRITE

_Rorschach's journal:  
_ _Comedian died.  
_ _New clown came to town.  
_ _Killed fifty-seven people so far.  
_ __Tonight, will get him.  
  
\---  
  
Rorschach stood on the rooftop.  
He watched the busy streets below.  
This was the building.  
It took him four days to find the clown.  
The Clown appearing from nowhere.  
Killing randomly.  
Blowing up buildings.  
Laughing.  
All the time laughing.  
Rorschach took a look at his phone.  
Daniel.  
13 missed calls.  
He put the phone back and jumped onto the fire escape.  
  
Hurm.  
Ten pm.  
Clown should be back soon.   
Rorschach picked the locks on the door.   
Seven locks.  
He needed a bit of time, but it was no real problem.   
Rorschach was Rorschach and so he got into the apartment.  
It was modest.  
Cheap furniture, worn-out couch, dirty and chaotic.  
Reminded him of his hovel.  
Rorschach snorted and took another look, then he turned around and closed the door.  
He thought about locking it again.  
Then he went to the kitchen.  
It was dirty, too.  
Unwashed dishes, stains of something on the floor, the faucet was dripping.  
Rorschach raised one brow.  
He opened the fridge.  
Empty.  
  
He turned around and opened the cabinets.  
Most of them were empty.  
In one he found stacked cans of baked beans in one half, sugar cubes in the other half.  
Rorschach raised his second brow and turned on his heel.  
His steps led to the bedroom.  
Stained carpet, grey bedspread, messy.  
In the wardrobe he only found one thing.  
A white dress sprinkled with black ink, shifting slightly and a big hole cut in.  
It was THE dress.  
  
It was HIS dress!  
He never had thrown the remaining fabric into the trash.  
The message was clear.  
Again Rorschach turned on his heel.  
  
He saw him.  
The Clown.  
Standing in the middle of the living room.  
Smiling.  
  
\---  
  
Joker left Gotham for vacation. Also he broke Batman’s leg by accident and needed something else to play with. A 'friend' from New York City had told him there was a  
vigilante lingering around. J. thought it would be fun to break the little freak calling himself 'Rorschach'. Funny. He never saw any butterflies and flowers.  
He knew the man would find him, so he burned a lot of daylight - according to his 'friend', Rorschach was never seen in daylight - and prepared a little trap, which involved visiting Rorschach's old partner.  
  
It was satisfying to hear that man sing. The weird guy reminded him of an owl. Daniel struggled a lot, but Joker had no problem in breaking some bones. Crane’s fear toxin  
surely did the rest.   
Joker had heard what he wanted to hear. He had decided to let the owlboy live. If the man had told the truth, he would not have the chance to warn Rorschach. Rorschach  
never answered his phone.   
Finding his apartment had not been that hard. Maybe Rorschach was vigilant, but to follow him home was no big deal.  
   
And now here they were.  
  
\---  
  
Rorschach growled and took the first thing within his reach.  
A candle stand.  
"There you are, hm. You are smaller than I was told. But they were right. You DO smell like shit." The Clown laughed.  
Rorschach made a fist and the leather of his gloves crunched.  
"You're the Clown," he growled.  
  
He inspected Joker from his green hair down to the shining purple shoes and asked: "Why did you come here?"  
Joker laughed again.  
"Not so chatty hm? Is this your real voice? Or do you disguise it? I know a guy who does that. He's not chatty either. Maybe it's a part of the disguise? It must be a hell on your  
throat," he babbled, taking out some play cards.  
Rorschach lifted his brows and the blots shifted to question marks for an instant.  
Then he stepped forward.  
Joker threw one card and Rorschach lifted his arm to simply block it.  
It cut deep through the leather of his coat and into his skin.  
The pain was sharp.  
Rorschach never had much attention to spare for pain.  
Nor time for it.  
  
He growled and lifted the weapon in his other hand.  
He made a short sprint.  
Joker threw the other cards.  
Rorschach tried to defend with the candle stand or to avoid them.  
He got cut two times more, before Joker was within reach.  
Joker with a huge smile laid his arms around Rorschach and held him close.  
The smaller man was unable to move.  
"Look, what I've caught. Pee-yew, you stink. Maybe we should take a bath?" he giggled.  
Rorschach grumbled and struggled.  
With arms pinned, he only could knee Joker in his groin.  
The taller man let go and moaned.  
"Hey. That's not fair. You- "   
  
Rorschach interrupted with a punch to the jaw and Joker stumbled back.  
"Life is not fair," Rorschach growled.  
Joker gave a poorly-stifled laugh.  
He wiped away tears of mirth.  
"That is true. And you should know, whoreson," he spat out.  
Rorschach clenched his fists tight.  
He grabbed the candle stand again.  
Joker smiled widely.  
  
"Ah, this sweet, uncontrollable rage. Want to be partners? Now, that you are alone?" He giggled, and when Rorschach stiffed in response it burst out as a cackle.  
Rorschach’s answer was slow and with disgust in his voice.  
“Don’t. Work. With manics!”  
Finally Joker’s words seeped into his mind.  
"Alone?"  
"Yes. I went to that lovely Daniel of yours and we tittle-tattled a bit, then I blew a hole through his forehead and left. Did his little bed bunny forget to call you?"  
Not true.  
Not true!  
Could not be true!  
"Liar!" Rorschach jumped and swung the candle holder.  
  
\---  
  
Joker jumped back and grinned. He had him. Now he was hooked. "Show me all of your rage, little psychopath! We would work so well together, trust me!"   
But Rorschach only growled back.  
  
"You're sick!"  
  
J. clicked with his tongue. "I am...not sick!" now he was the one growling.   
Rorschach was caged in his rage. He attacked Joker with brutal force and the taller man just avoided him.   
He laughed a bit, while stepping back. "This is so cute. He said you hate to be touched. Hate people, and now you’re mad, because I killed him? You should be grateful, I  
wiped that freak off the earth," J. snarled.  
The candle stand hit his shoulder and he stumbled back. Rorschach grabbed his collar and pressed him down, one knee on his chest.   
"Talking to much." Rorschach said angrily.   
Joker giggled. "You think so?" He pulled out a knife and drove it in Rorschach's direction. The smaller man grabbed his wrist and turned it, until it broke.  
J. gave a small whimper.  
"Too predictable," Rorschach growled and started to rip J.'s weapons out of his pockets.  
J. looked at his broken wrist and licked his lip. "Hm. Well you are a little more brutal than my usual toy, but I can handle this." He nodded slightly, then he brought up his  
knee. Tit for tat.  
  
\---  
  
He could not react fast enough and felt himself pushed away.  
The Clown jumped to his feet again  
He lunged and kicked Rorschach in his ribs.  
The vigilante fell.  
  
The Clown laughed out loud and grabbed Rorschach.  
"Let's play somewhere else, ok?" he pulled him up and threw himself through the window.  
Holding Rorschach tight.  
The grappling hook caught a balcony rail, but after it stretched, Rorschach hadn’t the strength to hold on.  
It slipped out of his hand.  
Both men fell on the ground.  
J. laughed and got up again, while Rorschach felt fuzzy.  
He couldn’t get up.  
  
"They say... you are ugly as fuck," Joker snarled.  
He kicked Rorschach again.  
Some people, who had heard the breaking glass, came to watch.  
One brought out a phone.  
  
He took a selfie.  
"They say, you are just a bunch of nothing," his kick put Rorschach back on the ground.  
"Little owlboy said, you were a biiiig zero." Joker laughed again. "Why don't we take a look?"   
  
He grabbed the mask.  
No!  
No, no, no, no!  
He could not-  
"NO!" Rorschach grabbed his arm, but J. kicked him once more.  
"Be a good boy, and let me pull that thing off! Show them your face, WALTER JOSEPH KOVACS!"  
  
\---  
He struggled so much. He screamed and tried to grab Joker.   
"GIVE IT BACK! GIVE ME BACK MY FACE!" he looked like he was nearly crying. It was beautiful. Joker laughed. "Oh, no. I think I will keep it as a souvenir," he smiled. "Now,  
Walter. Get up. Fight me, like you fight bad boys every night."  
The ugly ginger was shaking. His stare was dangerous and discomforting. He did not blink. "This is not me. This is a mask. I am not Walter Kovacs anymore!" he growled.   
  
J. clapped his hand against his underarm in a mockery of applause, still holding the face in his other hand. "Wow. He learned to build whole sentences! I am surprised," he  
smiled.  
Walter bit his lip. "Give. It. Back!" he spoke slowly and with a dark tone.  
"Hm. How about you, running home to mama to cry? Maybe she will be able to spank the big bad clown?" J. giggled, then huffed, as Walter ran into him and pinned him  
against the wall. He slammed his fist in Joker’s face, as often as he could before the clown kicked him away.   
"At least they were right about your face. You ARE the brightest gem of the sewers," J. now punched Walter and licked his lip again. Walter shook his head.   
"Shut up, Clown!" he screamed and attacked the Joker again, but the jester had another knife. He stabbed it into Walter’s shoulder, pinning him to the wall to rhyme with his  
earlier brutality.   
"Do you know, how I got these scars?" he asked smiling. Walter grumbled.   
"Don't care!" he punched Joker and grabbed the knife. The blade cut through leather and skin like butter on a hot day. The blood on the shining metal gleamed and Joker saw  
pure hatred in Rorschachs eyes.  
  
He was not entirely sure if he still liked the rage he had unbound.  
  
With another blow the handle of the knife slipped out of the maniac’s hand. Rorschach turned it and thrusted it directly into Joker’s cheek. He pulled it down like the handle  
of a slot machine. Blood spilled out. Jackpot.  
  
The Clown screamed and stumbled back, covering his face. Walter based on his knees and leaned on the wall, huffing. He was still shaking and watched J. carefully.  
  
\---  
  
"Give up, Clown. Give back my face and leave. Police will arrive soon," Walter cleared his throat.  
The Joker growled and looked up.  
"Shut up, you bastard. I won’tt-", his voice got consumed by a loud noise.  
He looked up.  
  
"HEY! NO! YOU WILL NOT INTERRUPT MY PLAYTIME!"  
Walter looked up.  
Lights blinded him.   
Then he heard a flapping sound.  
Joker struggled.  
"No! No, no! I hate you!", he screamed.  
  
"You don't belong here," grumbled a deep dark voice.  
Walter blinked but he only saw a huge dark figure.  
Then both of them were gone, along with the light and the noise.  
Walter took his mask, the Joker must have lost.  
He pulled it on.  
Looked at the bystanders.  
"If any one of you reveals my name, I will find you. If anyone shares pictures of me, I will find you." he turned away.  
"I remember every face!" He walked away seconds before the police arrived.  
Everyone affirmed to have seen a clown and a bat fight, and that they were gone.  
  
And nothing else.  
Rorschach took the dress and stuffed it into his pocket.  
He adjusted his coat and took the mobile.  
Seventeen missed calls.  
He closed his eyes and called back.  
  
"RORSCHACH! Oh thank god! Where are you?! A clown was here and-"   
"Dan. Heading over. Got beans?" he smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Decided to write Rorschach always as 'one sentence - one line', it felt better. Also killed some commas and prepositions in his long sentences, to split them. I wanted him more minimalist, like his way to speak is. What do you think? Is it better now? Or do you like the J.-write-style more?


End file.
